Are We Live? Probably!
by hanafuda
Summary: A series of "Namassu ka? Sunday!" sketches. WARNING: Absolute crack detected. Read at your own risk. BWAHAHHAHAH!
1. The Friendly Sound?

"Namassu ka? Sunday!"

In front of a table sat Haruka, Chihaya, and Miki.

Oh boy, another episode of this crap. Who even watches this? P thought.

Meanwhile, Kotori sat in her pajamas drinking from her Piyoko cup, watching the TV in her room. And actually, more than 100 thousand people were watching right now.

"First, let's introduce you to our new segment, 'Where is Azusa-san?' Since Azusa can never seem to find her way anywhere, we decided to make it into a game! Throughout the episode we will give you hints as to what country Azusa is in! Near the end, everyone gets to vote! The people who won correctly win 100 yen!"

The audience clapped and cheered. Haruka picked up her phone and dialed Azusa's number.

"Sa, Azusa-san! What continent are you on?"

"Uh... Hmm... Which one has Italy on it?"

"There you go folks! Azusa is somewhere in Europe!"

Next to speak was Chihaya. "Now it's time for a movie trailer!"

Hollywood is running out of ideas…

After a random commercial about a dog advertising some potato chips and another about ********************************, Haruka's face appeared.

"Namassu ka?"

A title card with chalk text appeared.

"Ami Mami-chan."

Ami and Mami began performing acrobatic tricks, mirroring each other's every move.

Suddenly the screen started flashing and dissolved into black. A camera panned upon the back sides of Ami and Mami, who looked into the distance. A boy and a girl appeared next to each other. Both wore green shirts, shorts and caps and weilded Poké Balls.

"Jr. Trainers Kate and Arnold want to fight!"

"GO! Charizard!

GO! Raichu!"

"Jr. Trainers Kate and Arnold sent out Primeape and Raticate!"

A long Pokémon battle ensued where each side had six Pokémon.

"Ami and Mami defeated Jr. Trainers Kate and Arnold!"

Arnold: "Oh well!"

Kate: "Nice work!"

Ami and Mami received 800 yen for winning!

Commercial!

Chihaya's face appeared.

"Namassu ka?"

Someone's phone rang. The ring tone was the song MUSIC.

"Ah! That must be Azusa-san!" Haruka picked up her phone.

"Moshi-moshi!"

"Ah, Haruka-san! How are you?"

"Fantastic! How 'bout you?"

"Just fine!"

"So how's about giving the viewers another hint as to where you are?"

"Hmm... It's very mountainous... It's north of Italy!"

"Very good! So it's not Italy, Spain, Malta, Cyprus, Greece, or Portugal..."

"Or Turkey!"

"Speaking of Turkey, it's time for our Food Taste Test! Yesterday our President brought us some Norwegian chocolate, nano!"

"And it came in this nice box!"

Oh shit oh shit, thought P.

Haruka attempted to open the box.

Ooohhhh shiiiiii-

The box flap hit her in the face. Chihaya started laughing

-iiitt! Shiiiiiiiiiitttt!

and Miki nonchalantly grabbed a bar out of the box.

"K...v...i...k...k...l...u...n...s...j... How do you pronounce that? That's a weird name, nano!"

Opening the Kvikk Lunsj (Norwegian: Quick Lunch), Miki found that it looked just like a Kit Kat. She bit into it -

"TEN OUT OF TEN, NANO~!"

Blushing Haruka reached into the box and pulled out a bar called Smash!

"What a great name for a candy bar!" Opening the Smash! bar, it appeared as any normal candy bar would. She bit into it.

"Oh, that chocolate is tasting so good right now. And that filling... uh... What is it?

P yelled quietly, if that was humanly possible, "It's corn! Corn!"

"Peanuts, maybe?"

Chihaya's ears perked up.

"Ah, no, it is corn!"

"Corn! Wow! What a great idea!"

Chihaya reached into the box. Something called Stratos. Another chocolate bar. This one had a smiling blue cow on it. Opening it, it looked like any normal piece-divided chocolate bar.

"Mm... I can't describe this good taste politely enough!"

"Well there you have it, folks," said Haruka. "Go get yourself some Norwegian chocolate!"

Commercial!

Miki's face.

"Namassu ka, nano!"

"Now it's time to see what Hibiki is up to!"

"Haisai!"

"Halo, Hibiki! Hvordan har du det, nano?"

Chihaya leaned over and whispered into Haruka's ear. "I think the chocolate got to her head."

"Hva mener du?"

"*sigh...* Noen ganger kan jeg virkelig ikke kan fordra dere..."

"Well, I'm at Las Vegas International Speedway in America! Today I'm going to be driving a NASCAR race car!"

\- stereotypes! -

"While Hibiki straps in, let's check in on Makoto and Yukiho!"

Makoto and Yukiho were sitting in a cave, drinking tea. Suddenly all the girls in the audience started screaming bloody murder.

"Bloody murder! Makoto-kun!"

"... W-where are you two?"

Makoto spoke.

"This is Yukiho's secret underground base! We won't tell you where it is, though!"

"Neat!"

...

...

...

A male voice popped up from the audience.

"I love you Yukiho!"

How damn blunt!

Yukiho's eyes widened and started to tear. Suddenly all eyes were on the audience man. Yukiho ran from the table, screaming, "Otoko no hito! Otoko no hito!" The audience members started to beat up the man

Commercial!

All three faces.

"Namassu ka?" in unison.

Hibiki in a souped up Toyota Camry. Driving in ovals. Screaming all the way. Oh what fun it is - STOP! Wait till Christmas for that singing crap!

MUSIC played.

"Moshi-moshi!

So, Azusa! One more hint!"

"Ara... uh... OK!

German!"

"That's all the hints for today! Begin voting now! If you're watching on TV, tweet your guess to dovolnayabuki now! Don't forget to follow her!"

The people in the audience broke out a simple device for typing in an answer.

Commercial!

"The results are in! Fifty-two people guessed correctly - Liechtenstein! That's all for today, guys! We won't forget to give you your 100 yen! See you next Sunday!

And don't forget - пролетарии всех стран, соединяйтесь!"

*clap clap clap*

"...start the soundtrack, cut to black"


	2. Cut and Copied Short!

"Namassu ka?"

"Sunday!"

Once again, Haruka, Chihaya, and Miki were sitting in front of a table. MUSIC started playing.

"Moshi-moshi?" Haruka put her phone on speaker.

"Ara... It seems I'm lost again!"

"Where might you be?"

"I'm in a country! Can you believe it?"

"No! Wow! So cool! What kind f country?"

"Well, the flag is red, white and blue!"

"Thanks Azusa! Talk to you later!"

"Ami Mami-chan."

Ami lay down on the floor. Mami, out of view at first, sat up. Ami sat up blocking Mami out again, and Mami lay down. More acrobatic tricks ensued, and no Pokémon in sight...

"Trailer time!"

A trailer showed a bunch of idiots playing chess. Sums it up perfectly.

No f****** shame! P thought.

"And now Iori with the weather!"

"It's hot... Because of me!"

"And Yayoi with sports!"

"The High-Touch World Cup kicked off today!..."

Commercial!

Haruka. "Namassu ka?"

"Let's see what Hibiki is doing today."

Hibiki was standing in a large coat on top of an snow and ice capped mountain.

"Haisai!"

"Hibiki! Where are you today?"

"I'm in Switzerland, on top of a mountain in the Alps range!"

"Neat!"

"I'll be skiing alllll the way down to the base from here!"

Not a minute later Hibiki slipped and tumbled alllll the down the mountain!

Commercial!

Miki. "Namassu ka?"

Chihaya. "It seemed that last week most people enjoyed Lemaitre's performance. This week we have...

buzz...

BEEEEEEP...

*static*

The power went out in Tokyo, thank God.

See you next week.

by the way Azusa was in PANAMA! PANAMAHA! PANAMA! PANAMAHAHUHAHAHA!


End file.
